Bunch discusses the idea of the Heterosexual Privilege in society, and how heterosexual women (and men) are validated for being so. I remember Taps discussed an example I'm sure we are all familiar with - the high school party. We all remember her - that gorgeous girl with perfect teeth and amazing clothes walking in with the one thing that pieced her "look" all together - an equally amazing man on her arm. The whole picture to a lot of girls was perfect, and I'm sure a lot of them (myself at times included) wanted to switch places with her. But all that was in place here was assumptive logic. We all assumed that because she had this man that she was "better" in some sense than all of us. How hysterical it is now though when we see what she is up to in comparison with us. Okay, enough caty judging back to the point. I am trying to link Bunch to what Hooks proposed in her article about shared sensibilities. Back at that party, were we not just a bunch of girls? We had that in common, and among other things too! Why then could we not see through that heterosexual privilege and just see a person. Hooks describes walking nihilism, which I think could be linked to the way we saw that "perfect" girl and her arm candy. In a way, we were behaving as walking nihilisms to ourselves, as women, no matter what sexual preference we had. I think that Hooks was on to something when she proposed to make these nihilisms empowering ones. We could take the idea of being what Bunch describes as an "outlaw" and BE that woman alone, embracing her in all of her glory. Would we really need a man there to give us the subjectivity we "need" in order to feel important? Why would it matter if we had a date to an event or not? After all, we (the woman) would be there wouldn't we? Wasn't that enough? I can't help but think that more of us (in and outside of the women's studies group) should take on this empowering thought. After all, Bunch says that "patriarchy is furthered by not deconstructing heterosexuality", and as we've all seen in Feministeppin' we all like to think that we do our part in challenging patriarchy. So why then do we still feel SO alone when we are by ourselves sans l'homme? I hate that in the culture industry there is such a negative spin on "outlaw" and on the "single". I think that we should take Mary Daly's idea of spinning in this sense. For those who spin resist the reification that I think the heterosexual privilege has placed on us. I think we should re appropriate our ideas of that lone woman and take it to be that she is independent, confident and powerful. She is not alone, she has herself (and her girlfriends of course) and she does not need an image of being "with man" to make herself feel important. She's already important, intelligent and beautiful without him. So here's to all of the outlaws out there... just remember " the sisters are doin' it for themselves"!!!!
2 comments:
I wish I could be an outlaw without feeling a little lonely. Granted I do have the most wonderful friends who fill up that loneliness (but they also let me do stupid things on a saturday night because I claim to know what I am doing, clearly I don't though). I agree with what you are saying completely. Why are we a walking nihlism to ourselves, purposefuly putting ourselves down or in bad situations? We should all be outlaws for a while! It feels impossible to get copfortable with that idea for some reason though. I am working on it with all my might and we shall see what happens!
(Thanks jen)
I think it takes some major conscious and deliberate efforts to remain "single" for an extended amount of time for a woman to start to recognize the walking nihilims she is within. Because there are and always will be straight people, there will always be the attraction to men, who are so good at taking our attentions away from maintaining our own shared sensibilities. However, if one can become more intimate with having to only rely on herself for emotional fulfillment, then she starts to shed some of that walking nihilism. It's always a struggle, and it will always have to be reappropriated and renegotiated; but the absence of that masculine presence sometimes is SO needed... at least in today's culture where heterosexual norms so often get the better of us.
This straight girl appreciates the men who are in her life dearly, but taking a long vacation from trying to find someone "to show up at a party with" is the best thing I've ever done.
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